My own Kung Fu death cult

Just in case any of you trolls out there get any funny ideas, you should know that I paid through the nose for three years in the early 1990s to the baddest Kung_fu cult you’ve never heard of: Chung_Moo_Quan. (Do not listen to those poseurs over at “Chung_Moo_Doe" or "Oom_Yung Doe!” They have diluted [Grand Champion of all Asia!] Master John C. “Iron” Kim’s teachings!)
So don’t mess with me, people, or I’ll be signing you all up for lengthy (cash-only) contracts to learn Ship-Pal-Gae mental form, charging you for video-taped workouts and sending you on daily errands to the local Super-Mom’s Bakery!